Kate’s Lazy Meadow…Party Out of Bounds

Date: Random Weekend -July of 2010
Location: Mt Tremper, New York
Cast: Me, the Missus, Dee and Missus Dee

Ok, before I get started, let me just say I’m sorry if these posts are a little out of order….actually, I’m not really sorry about them being out of order. I am sorry if you’re trying to follow my out-of-control timeline.

We took the trip up to Kate’s Lazy Meadow in July of 2010 but I didn’t get around to posting anything about it until just now (October of 2011)

I guess Kate’s Meadow isn’t the only thing that’s lazy…

Anyway, enough babbling….on with the show.

The first thing you should know about Kate’s Lazy Meadow (from here on to be known simply as KLM…because I am L) is that it’s owned by Kate Pierson of the B-52’s. If you don’t know who Kate Pierson is, here’s a picture…

Kate watches you masturbate

If you don’t know who the B-52’s are, please just stop reading right now and go do something else. Anything else…I don’t care what.

KLM located on Rt. 28 in Mt Tremper New York, approximately 20 miles south of Hunter Mountain is half motel / half converted campground and all kinds of goofy awesome!

The hotel portion, known as the Meadow Suites is an old-fashioned ranch style strip motel featuring, I think, 10 or 11 rooms (I could research it, but again – L)

Each room is said to be decorated, in some capacity, by Kate Pierson herself. So knowing what you might know about her, you can imagine what these rooms look like. 

Meadow Suite #5

Each room is themed and wall to wall kitsch and tack. Think “70’s Yard Sale” and you’ll have a better idea what I mean.

And let’s be clear…in no way do I mean this in a bad way!

KLM is overflowing with style, charm and kooky retro greatness.

This is a place for people who like their fun like their fondue…warm, thick and cheesy. (reminds me of an old girlfriend)

If you need Egyptian cotton sheets, room service and a 24 hour concierge, this is not the place for you. However, if you like garden gnomes, pink flamingoes and peanut butter and banana sammich’s…well howdy fuckers..c’mon in!

Mister Dee relaxing hammockly

The lower part, and I mean that it terms of actual geography, not social hierarchy, of KLM is given over to the “converted” campground.

You won’t find any tents or modern RV’s here, but what you will get is your choice of vintage Airstream trailers (assuming you made reservations)

6 Airstreams to be exact. All appropriately named and decorated in the same classic kitsch and low country swank as the Meadow Suites.

We stayed in Airstream “Bubbles” while our friends, the Dee’s, stayed in Airstream “Hairstream”

…yes, “Hairstream”…you’ll see why in a bit.

All the Airstreams are on the same acre or so of ground but are far enough away from each other so that you’re not crammed in like, say your average trailer park.

They also each come with outdoor chairs, a BBQ grill, charcoal, a fire pit and some, like Bubbles, have a hammock. Not only that, but they’re all situated less then 100 feet from the Esopus Creek which is a popular area for rafting, tubing and fishing.

The mighty Esopus Creek

(Side note: when in town, take the 5 minute drive to the town of Phoenicia. Home of the Town Tube Tinker for a great tubing trip down the Esopus. BUT more importantly, stop into Brio’s restaurant and order the California Reuben. Good God Almighty...this sandwich was so good I immediately ordered a second one and proceeded to have sex with it right there in the restaurant. My wife was clearly annoyed, but not because of my comestible infidelity…but because she wanted a bite before I befouled that delicious hussy. When I was finished there was nothing left but a splattered mess of corned beef and Russian dressing….and I’m not referring to the sandwich…but I’ve probably said too much…moving on…

As for the Airstreams…

Well, again, just like the suites, if you’re looking for over the top comfort and 5 star pampering and nightly colonics, you probably shouldn’t be in upstate New York and you DEFINITELY should not choose to stay in the Airstreams.

However, if you’re looking for a unique sleeping experience and don’t mind a little crowding, then I fully recommend it.

I for one, loved it and was really bummed when I couldn’t make reservations to go back again this year.

As I mentioned, we stayed in Bubbles.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Bubbles.

Clean, cute and comfortable….well, as comfortable as a giant turquoise tuna fish can be, the Airstreams really are a great place to hang out for the weekend and commune with nature and wildlife all while getting to act out your white trashiest fantasies…of which I’m not ashamed to admit, I have many.

The only issue I had, and this has nothing to do with KLM, is that the “bathrooms” inside the Airstreams themselves are pretty much just for show.

In fact, upon first seeing them, I looked at it the same way most people look at a strangers baby. I thought to myself “Awww…how cute”..but was smart enough to keep my distance so as not to come in contact with any airborne bacteria.

I mean, they aren’t dirty or unsanitary or broken or anything like that. They do “work” in as much as gravity will allow, but let’s just say, you won’t be spending any prolonged amount of time in them. And in order to use the shower, you need to be part acrobat, part yoga instructor, part midget and part comfortable with bathing in the creek if you really want to get clean. Thankfully though, there is an outdoor common bathroom with actual plumbing located near the campers.

As previously stated, our friends, the Dee’s (of the world-famous “Dee’s Nuts” – Who’s nuts? Dee’s Nuts)  stayed in Hairstream.

Cute name, right? Well, for all intents and purposes, Hairstream is a cute trailer. It’s “theme” if you want to call it that, is “B-52’s” and I guess it’s meant to be a history of the band. It’s a little loud and overwhelming, design-wise for my tastes.

It looks like it was decorated by a hyper-obsessive fan. Possibly a stalker. There’s pictures and posters galore of the band throughout the years…signed tour memorabilia…show programs, maps of places they’ve played, etc, etc. etc.

…but then there’s this….

Did you see it?

Would you like to take a closer look?

That is exactly what it looks like.

It’s a wig on a string of lights hanging from the ceiling.

As if someone scalped a transvestite and were showing off their trophy.

Now given the fact that Kate Pierson owns this place and taking into account that she is known for wearing wildly outlandish wigs, it’s not that far of a leap to assume that this thing might have, at some point, been on Kate’s head…possibly while she was in concert…and sweating.

I don’t know about you, but that’s not exactly a selling point to me. And definitely something to leave out of the brochure.

Maybe it’s just me, but touching certain things that people wear on certain body parts just give me the pee shivers. I don’t like wearing anybody else’s hat much in the same way I don’t want to use somebody else’s toothbrush. But hats, caps wigs…as well as wearing or even handling other people’s shoes, socks, bathrobes, wetsuits, jockstraps or underwear is just not something I’m entirely comfortable with. If it’s on display, under glass, with say, a security rope barricade, ok fine. But a used wig hanging where I might bump into it or accidentally rub up against it…well, I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. No sir.

But really this was just small potatoes in the overall scheme of the place.

Like I said, we loved Kate’s and can’t wait to go back.

So if you’re looking for a totally unique vacation experience wherein you get to embrace your inner Billy Bob and want to spend some time “roughing it” while not actually giving up that many modern conveniences, do yourself a favor and check out Kate’s Lazy Meadow.

Tell em’ Vee sent ya.

They’ll have no idea what you’re talking about and that’s just fun for everybody.

Well that’s it for now…the road is calling and it’s not good to keep her waiting.

Check you out on the flip-flop

Oh and one last thing…here’s a woman eating a banana.