My original intention for this blog was to not only document my various comings and goings, but to help me become a more disciplined writer. I know that last part my seem silly as I tend to use words like "Nutsack" , "Clown College" and "Fuck" a lot and that's just not the way a well disciplined person should act...but whatever...
Anyway, one of the things I don't want to do, is write about every little non-event that takes me out of my house and out on to the open road. Otherwise, I'll end up filling this journal with tales from my local 7-11...and speaking of which, have you guys tried those new maple sausage pancake rollers?
Good God almighty what a tasty treat. I wouldn't actually classify it as a "food" item per say...more like a maple-infused punch to the taste buds. It's 9 grams of fat, 9 grams of protein and 270 calories of utter convenience store fuckery. I recommend getting two.
However, seeing as how this is a travel blog, I feel somewhat obligated to tell you a little something about the town of East Norriton, Pennsylvania as I recently traveled there this past Thanksgiving.
First, a little history about myself.
There are several things that I dislike immensely. One of them is cancer and the other is Pennsylvania. I know that’s a broad sweeping statement…I mean, honestly, how can anyone hate the entire state of Pennsylvania? Well, spend a fair amount of time in Pittsburgh and you will not only hate all of Pennsylvania, but pretty much anything that starts with the letter P.
When I was in my early 20’s, I was forced to live in Pittsburgh for a few years and I have never recovered from it. To call that city the “leaky asshole of the United States” is being kind. It’s a big box of pig shit slathered in rancid mayonnaise dropped into a cesspool while getting a perm. If that city had a face, I’d kick it in the balls.
And because of my experiences in Pittsburgh, I have absolutely no use for Pennsylvania. Besides, it’s the only state that I can think of that serves chicken wings at Japanese restaurants and forces you to go to a “package store” to buy beer. A package store!! I got your package right here Pennsylvania…
Sorry..I’m getting off topic…
So yea, back to the subject at hand.
East Norriton sits about 25 miles north …a Package Store???...Really….what the hell does that even mean??..”package store”…Jesus Christ…..sorry, sorry…as I was saying… East Norriton sits about 25 miles north of Philadelphia…home of G. Love, Independence Hall and the most overrated sandwich in the world, the cheese steak. If I had to guess, I’d say there’s about 3000 people in the whole town and roughly 6000 different places to eat. You could live there your whole life and never eat at the same place twice. Drive 5 miles in either direction on Germantown Pike (the main road that cuts through the city) and you will see no less then 15 pizza places, 13 sushi restaurants, 10 Starbucks, 9 different fast food chains, 8 bakeries, 7 different diners, 4 high end Italian eateries, 4 steak joints, 3 French café’s, 2 WaWa’s and 1 7-11. What you won’t find are any Chinese restaurants which is odd considering that half the population is Asian.
Other then the food situation there’s really not much else to say about the city or it’s surrounding suburbs. It’s not a particularly exciting town or an attractive city. I know of no famous people that hail from it and it’s not all that historically significant. Which begs the question, “Why even bother writing about it?” The answer to that is, “I don’t know…I honestly don’t know”.
Hmmmmmmm…..
Here’s a picture of a woman eating mayonnaise on the bus.
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